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Thursday, 23 August 2012

HERE ARE TEN REASONS WHY WOMEN WILL GO BACK TO CHEATERS




No.10 She hates failure
Her love of winning not only creeps up in the boardroom, but in her relationship too. She hates the idea of falling short of a happy relationship or admitting defeat when it comes to love. So, she will try to work at the relationship — perhaps seeking counseling is an option — to ensure that the tear in the relationship gets stitched up. If her relationship were the Titanic, she’d be playing the violin till the last minute.
No.9 She’s afraid of the unknown
She’s been with him for years, building a life together and focusing on their combined futures. Thinking about letting all that go makes her queasy with fear of the unknown. She’s probably harried by concerns such as what her life will be like without him in it. Facing that uncertainty is often too scary of a prospect. She’d rather stick with the status quo because, as difficult as it might be, it’s a comfort zone.
No.8 She’s convinced he will change
Her boyfriend betrayed her, but she believes that he will change. In the stress of infidelity, many women feel that they don’t know how to piece together the image of the cheating boyfriend with the guy who used to shower them with affection and love. So they think it’s possible their boyfriends will change their cheating ways and revert to how they were before the infidelity. Of course, the relationship might have changed irrevocably, and not for their benefit.
No.7 She has low self-esteem
Brenda Stone Browder, author of On the Up and Up: A Survival Guide for Women Living with Men on the Down Low, who has also been on the receiving side of betrayal in relationships, says that women who don’t love or value themselves catch the cheater’s eye. If a woman doesn’t care about her self-worth, she’ll be quick to brush away his indiscretions, make excuses for him, and she won’t feel that she is wonderful enough to do better than him.
No.6 She’s possessive of him
Although he has hurt her deeply, she just can’t imagine being without him. But more than this, she cringes at the thought of another woman getting to have him. It might not make sense to you; you might think, “What would she want with a cheat, anyway?” but she’s so used to saying that he belongs to her, that she’s not quite ready to turn him into recycled goods for other women to enjoy. Staying with him is her way of marking — and keeping — her territory.
No.5 She has kids with him
Although it sounds naive, staying with a man for the children makes sense to the woman in question. As a mother, she has people other than herself to consider, and she might hesitate at the idea of breaking up the family by leaving her boyfriend or husband.
No.4 She has a history with him
Sharing past experiences is a powerful thing, especially for women who are known to be more sentimental. If her boyfriend is a large part of her past, she could be dragging her feet to leave because it means throwing away the construction of her relationship to date — in exchange for memories that won’t keep her warm at night.
No.3 She’s financially dependent on him
Emotions aside, not having money can cause a woman to stay in Cheat Street. How is she going to leave and start a new life on her own if she has been depending on him for financial stability? This is an issue that could keep women, both gold diggers and non- gold diggers alike, in the relationship — even if they’re not in love with their partners anymore.
No.2 She’s invested time and money
Building a relationship with someone is more than forging emotional ties; it can incorporate other financial, energy and time costs. For instance, if she has built a business with her guy, leaving the relationship could risk her venture. Likewise, having invested feelings and energy cultivating the relationship could make her hesitant to walk away with nothing. She would rather work on the current relationship than cut her losses.
No.1 She’s crazy in love
One of the most common things women say when they’re asked why they’re still in their betrayal-adorned relationship is, “But I love him.” Yes, she’s hurt and scalded by his actions, but she can’t deny that her strong feelings for him are causing her to plant her flag in the relationship and try to make things work, with Victoria Beckham as her new inspiration.
Source: This Day Magazine

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